Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
