But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
