We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
