Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
