I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
