real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
