Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
its not stalking. its research.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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