another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
