Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What a dumb baby whore.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
