You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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