Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.

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(703): View more from Virginia

i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom

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(214): View more from Texas

Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives

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(720): View more from Colorado

I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.

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(925): View more from California

You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!

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