She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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