she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
the raccoons are back...
Randomize