i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize