K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize