You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize