Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You ruined the universe
Randomize
