he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
