I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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