Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
