i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
