If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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