I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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