Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
