My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
