Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
