talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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