Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
