We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
