There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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