You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
