Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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