Apparently you make a good broom.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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