Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
