I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize