chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
