oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
