Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
