what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize