Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dignity is for republicans.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
