We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
