Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
