Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
