I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
