ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
