Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
