C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize