I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
