I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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