don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
being pregnant is like rehab
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
