Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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