she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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