in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
