he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I could fuck to npr.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize