i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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