I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
