do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
