Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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