So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
