I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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