This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
