big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
