I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
barbara walters just said penis...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize